


Just Until.

by TMar



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-30
Updated: 1999-04-30
Packaged: 2018-11-10 12:19:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11126865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Fraser and Ray are using each other for sexual gratification and nothing else... or are they?





	Just Until.

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Just  
Until...

 

**M/M situation and sex, rated R. As if I ever write**  
anything different! I call this the "no talking" story (you'll see what  
I mean). 

Disclaimer: Um, let's see... #1: Not my characters. I'm just playing with them. They're having fun, trust me.  
#2: I won't make any profit from this story (damn).  
#3: Suing me really wouldn't be worthwhile \- and you know the whining about the rand/dollar exchange rate comes next!  


Are people still out there reading this stuff? No one seems to be commenting anymore. Writers *like* comments, really! We *live* for comments. Comments are the only things that keep us writing. Even if you feel you'll be repeating yourself, I don't mind. Repeat yourself, please! Comments go to: 

# JUST UNTIL...

By T'Mar

There it was again, Ray Vecchio could feel it as he drove Fraser home: that strange tension in the air. He wasn't sure when he had first noticed the tension between them, but every time they were alone together in the Riv, driving home, it was there. Oh, they still spoke, and they discussed the cases they were working on, but to Ray it felt forced, wrong. He tried to pinpoint the exact moment when it had happened, but he couldn't. He'd just noticed one day that the tension was there. And he wished he knew why. 

They pulled up outside Fraser's apartment building, and Ray hoped against hope that Fraser wouldn't look at him expectantly, wanting him to come up. But it was Friday, and Ray *always* came up on a Friday. They'd order pizza or Chinese, and they'd talk... or sit in companionable silence. It was their own little tradition. 

And all of a sudden, Ray was terrified of going up to Fraser's apartment. Something was going to happen up there, he just knew it. If he went up, the shit was going to hit the proverbial fan. But he knew that if Benny looked at him in that expectant way, he wouldn't be able to say no. Anything he'd say to get out of it would just be an excuse, and Benny would know it. Benny wouldn't show it, but Ray knew Benny would be hurt, and he'd never hurt Benny for anything. 

They looked at each other as Ray turned the car off, and Ray saw things in Fraser's eyes that he really didn't want to see. Things like need, desire, desperation. And then he knew. If he went up, they were going to make love. He wasn't sure how, he just knew it. He also knew that he wanted it. He wanted to touch Benny, and let Benny touch him. He wanted to feel Benny's skin, skin which always looked so smooth and glowing. He wanted to know what Benny's hands would feel like touching him. But the rational part of his mind murmured that it would be a mistake, that they weren't like that, neither of them, that this had come about because of their constant companionship. 

Then Fraser broke the silence. "Ray... it's Friday. Shall we order pizza, or try something different for a change?" 

The voice was light and casual, but Ray could hear the underlying tension. 

"Let's be daring and order a pizza with weird toppings," Ray said, as they both got out of the Riv. 

Fraser smiled. "But I think we should still get Dief his usual." He looked down at the wolf, who also knew it was Friday, and who expected his pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. 

"Oh, of course." Ray followed the Mountie into the apartment. 

Ray couldn't sit down once they were inside; instead, he began to pace while they waited for the pizzas to be delivered. 

"Ray, would you sit down," Fraser said, not too gently. 

Ray paused and looked at him, terrified to listen. If he sat down that tension would well up again, he could feel it. And then he might do something he'd regret. "I can't sit down, Benny," he finally said, hoping that that would be enough to say, knowing it wouldn't. 

Fraser stood up, and stood in his path. "Ray, what are you talking about?" 

Ray ducked around Fraser and continued pacing. "Nothing. I just feel wired tonight, okay?" 

"Ray..." Fraser was about to grab Ray by the arms to stop him when there was a knock at the door. 

Ray was there in a flash, overpaying the delivery guy by about ten bucks. Fraser noticed, but Ray didn't. "Keep the change," he said, carrying the three pizza boxes inside. "Here ya go, Dief." He opened one and put it on the floor for the wolf, who started to eat as if he hadn't been fed in days. 

"Dief, manners!" Fraser said, but Diefenbaker wasn't looking at him. Fraser sighed and went to the kitchen counter, where Ray was opening the other two pizzas. "Ray..." Fraser put his hand gently on Ray's shoulder. 

Ray snapped. He slammed the pizza box he was holding back onto the counter and turned to Fraser, backing him against the refrigerator with his 

body. 

Fraser just looked at him with surprise... but there were other emotions lurking in there somewhere, too. "Ray...?" 

"Shut up, Fraser," Ray said, pulling Benny's uniform accoutrements off and undoing his tunic. 

"Ray, what..." began Fraser, but then he stopped. He had known this would happen sooner or later, had felt it in both himself and Ray. So he just stood there, letting Ray undress him. 

Ray got all the clothes off of Benny's upper body, then he pulled his own jacket, shirt and undershirt off, and put his arms around Benny. He felt he should say something, but what was there to say? He couldn't think of a thing as he fell into the blue of Benny's eyes, feeling so aroused that he couldn't think straight. He leaned down and kissed Benny's throat, then moved across his chest, each kiss becoming deeper until he was almost devouring Benny's skin every time he made contact with it. 

He could hear the moans of pleasure Benny was making, and it encouraged him. All too soon, he reached the top of Benny's pants and knelt. He couldn't look at Benny for permission, not now. He didn't want to see the look in those eyes when he did what he was about to do. 

Ever so carefully, he opened Benny's pants, sliding them down until they caught in the Mountie boots. Then he pulled Benny's shorts down, too, freeing the part of Benny that he yearned to have. He just looked at it at first, lifting one hand to touch... And Benny flinched at the contact. 

Ray smiled. Oh, so the Mountie liked that, did he? He wanted to ask, but if he looked in Benny's eyes he might see something he didn't want to see. As long as they didn't look at each other or speak, Ray felt all right. It was his way of denying this was happening, even while he was doing it. Ever so carefully, he touched his lips to Benny's erection, letting it slide into his mouth, getting the faint first taste of what was to come. 

Fraser leaned his head back against the refrigerator and just experienced; this was the first time that anyone had ever done this for him, and he liked it. A lot. He wanted to look down, to see what Ray looked like touching him this way, but something stopped him. Somehow, he knew that Ray wouldn't want him to, so he just stood there as the sucking sensations grew more and more intense, making him move his hips just a little. Oh, yes, Ray, he wanted to shout, but he didn't, he just grabbed the sides of the refrigerator with both hands as he came, spilling himself into Ray's mouth. 

Ray swallowed quickly and just continued kneeling there in front of Fraser. He smiled again when Benny slid down the side of the fridge and sat with a loud 'thump' on the floor. They looked into each other's eyes quickly, and then away, as Fraser leaned over, almost kissed Ray on the mouth, then changed his mind and kissed his throat instead, the way Ray had kissed his. He moved downwards, mimicking Ray almost exactly, as he tasted all that lovely naked flesh before him, pushing Ray down so that he lay flat on the floor. 

Hands fumbled with Ray's belt buckle, and then his pants were sliding off, and his briefs joined them, tangled around his feet. Ray didn't care, he just wanted to feel Benny's mouth on him. He could feel Benny's breath close, so close, and arched towards it, wanting this, needing it. He didn't have to wait at all, as that beautiful mouth closed over his flesh, and Benny's tongue drove him completely wild in a very short time. Ray had nothing to hold onto, except Benny, and he tangled one hand in Benny's hair, thrusting upwards slightly, closer and closer to orgasm. His back arched when it happened, and he bit back a wail of completion as he sank back onto the kitchen floor. 

It took quite a while before either of them felt ready to get up, so they just lay there together, contemplating what this meant. 

Ray was terrified. Despite the fact that he had wanted this, needed it; indeed, even *started* it, the thought of anyone knowing what he and Benny had done to each other was decidedly scary. No one could ever know. And yet, even as he formed that thought, he knew that it would happen again. And again. Because he had to have Benny sexually, he just had to. But he didn't want anything more: no relationship, no declarations of love. He couldn't handle that, no way. What had happened tonight and what would happen on future nights would have to be enough. 

Fraser lay there feeling happy, in a way, that this had finally come to pass. He had needed Ray for so long and suppressed his feelings so much, but he had never thought that Ray could want him too. And yet he knew that it was a qualified wanting. He knew why Ray hadn't kissed him, or spoken during the interlude: speaking about it, kissing intimately, would make it real in his eyes. Fraser knew Ray too well; he could read him like a book. And he knew that Ray had *needed* this; Ray had had no choice in what had occurred 

tonight. But Ray didn't see himself having a relationship with another man. 

Fraser wondered if this could be enough. Could he have this sexual relationship with Ray, a relationship oddly disconnected from the rest of their friendship? Because it would happen again, he knew it. It had to. He had to have Ray sexually, that was all. And because of that fact, whatever they gave to each other would have to do, it would have to be enough. 

Ray was lying there wondering what to say or do when his cellphone rang. Saved by the bell, as it were. He crawled across the floor to his jacket and pulled out the phone. "Yeah, Vecchio." 

It was the precinct; a homicide. "I'll be right there." He managed to get his pants and underwear back in place, then pulled on his shirt and jacket. "Gotta go, Benny, a homicide." 

Fraser was buttoning his uniform tunic. "Want some help, Ray?" 

Ray looked into those eyes, but all he saw there was concern, and friendship. Whatever had happened between them, they had left on the kitchen floor. Now they were just the best friends again, the Cop and the Mountie. "Sure, Benny, that'd be great." He paused to get some water from the fridge, took a long drink and tossed the bottle to Benny. 

"Thanks, Ray." 

Neither of them mentioned what the water was for. 

Ray dropped Fraser home after they had checked out the crime scene, and this time Fraser didn't ask him to come up. All he said was, "Thanks, Ray," as he closed the door after Diefenbaker. 

"Seeya, Benny," Ray replied, driving off. 

He went home and went to bed, not thinking about what he and Benny had done. He *couldn't* think about it; it would drive him crazy. So he just slept, but his dreams were filled with memories of blue eyes and soft skin. 

Fraser spoke to Diefenbaker about what had happened. The wolf merely sat looking at him, giving an occasional whine when it seemed the Mountieexpected it. "...So I suppose the only course of action is to wait and see if Ray becomes more comfortable with this." He looked at Dief expectantly. Dief whined, then gave a single bark. 

"Oh, good, you agree," Fraser said, going to lie down on his bed. But it was a long time before he want to sleep: all he could think about were those hazel eyes and the warmth of Ray's body. 

The week passed uneventfully... or at least as uneventfully as a week with the Cop and the Mountie could pass. But come Friday, the tension was back, and worse than ever. Fraser would ask him to come up, Ray would agree, and they'd be out of their clothes and making love once again. And they both wanted it, but neither could admit it. 

All Fraser did say when they pulled up outside his apartment building was, "It's Friday, Ray." 

Ray turned the car off, and they went up to the apartment together. 

This time there was no preamble at all; as soon as the door closed, Ray turned around and began to undo Benny's uniform. When the tunic came off, he threw it across the room in the direction of the bed. 

Benny wasn't idle either; he had managed to get Ray's shirt unbuttoned all the way, and now he pushed it off of Ray's shoulders and kissed Ray's collarbones and chest, capturing each nipple in turn, and hearing Ray's gasps of pleasure. 

When Fraser straightened up, Ray pulled up his undershirt and returned the favour; only he went further, undoing Benny's pants and pulling them down at the same time... 

A hand came up to stop him, and then Benny was looking into his eyes with such intensity that Ray was forced to look away for a second. He saw fierce need and desire there, yes, but he also saw... other things. Things he didn't want to see, not now. Maybe not ever. 

Fraser stepped away, and went to the closet, stepping in briefly and coming back out with a small tube, which he held up for Ray to see. Ray's eyes widened considerably. He knew what Benny was asking, what Benny wanted. And he wanted it too, he admitted. His way of showing what he wanted was to unbuckle his own belt and remove his pants and underwear, stepping towards Benny. 

And then Benny handed him the tube, and turned around. Ray felt shock at this new development. Benny wanted Ray to make love to *him*, not the other way round. Ray felt a thrill run straight down his spine into his groin. He could do that, make love to Benny. He looked briefly towards the bed, but Fraser seemed to have other ideas and was still standing, albeit braced against the closet door at an angle that Ray could not misunderstand. 

Ray wondered briefly why Benny didn't want to make love to him in the bed, but then he realised that Benny might be having the same thoughts that he did: making love in the bed would make it more real, more like an actual relationship. What Ray *didn't* realise was that Fraser was only keeping away from the bed because he knew that it would make Ray uncomfortable. 

There was no more time to ponder, as Ray smeared some of the tube's 

contents onto himself, and then moved up behind Benny. He wanted to ask if this was truly okay, if Benny really wanted this... but talking was somehow taboo. Ray didn't want to think about what might come out of his mouth if he spoke, so he remained silent. Instead of asking, he merely placed a kiss on Benny's back, hoping Benny would understand. And it seemed that he did, because the tension in his back and neck eased a little. 

Ray took hold of himself and guided himself into Benny, remaining still for a minute after that, absorbing this sensation. It wasn't all that new to him; he'd had one or two girlfriends who had been into 'experimentation', but that had been different, that had been okay - they had been female. Benny was male, and that made it... different. Different, and yet not. 

Ray was still pondering this when Benny pushed back against him, encouraging him to move, and he had no more time to think about it. 

They were sprawled on the floor again, lying together, but not talking, not looking at each other. Ray wondered if he'd be saved by a ringing cellphone this time, while Fraser tried to comprehend the total silence. 

They could surely talk, couldn't they? Maybe they could talk now... 

"Ray?" 

"Yeah?" 

And then Fraser couldn't think of a thing to say. He thought quickly. "I was just wondering if you were asleep." 

"Nah." 

Talking seemed to have broken the spell, and Ray sat up, retrieving his scattered clothes. "Well, how about Chinese?" he asked, as if the previous time hadn't even happened. 

"All right." Fraser stood up, opening the closet door and taking out some underwear, jeans and a T-shirt, which he quickly put on. When he turned around again, Ray was dressed. It was over. Fraser gave a small, inaudible sigh of regret, and crossed to the table as Ray got out his cellphone and ordered the food. 

"Should be here in ten minutes," Ray said, smiling at him in his usual friendly way. And that was all it was, Fraser noticed: just his usual friendly way. Fraser wanted to ask Ray what was going on, but he knew part of it, and he was scared that even mentioning it would drive Ray away. He couldn't have that; he *needed* this so badly. 

So they discussed Ray's latest case, and ate Chinese food, and Ray went home when it got late. 

The next Friday was much the same, except this time it was Ray's curiosity that got the better of him, and he discovered the pleasure there could be in letting someone else inside you, in letting someone else make love to you. Fraser's floor was getting more use than it had ever had before; Ray hadn't thought he could stand up the way Fraser had, so he had just taken a blanket from the bed, put it on the floor, and lain face-down, waiting for Benny to touch him. And he hadn't waited long, at all. 

It had been strange, and pleasurable, and Ray had felt things he didn't want to feel. When Benny had been making love to him, he had felt... complete. As if that was the way it was meant to be. And it still terrified him. Sex was one thing, that could be rationalized away, but feelings... love... they couldn't. Ray didn't want to admit it, but he kept thinking that this was some sort of temporary sexual relief they were both getting until they each found the right woman. 

The Friday night sessions went on for nearly four months, and they each learned new ways of pleasuring the other. It was exciting, sexy, oh so pleasurable, and thrilling... But through it all they never spoke, and they never looked at each other. They would just come back to Fraser's place on a Friday, make love, and then order take-out. Ray was satisfied with that, and hoped Benny was too. 

But Benny wasn't. Each Friday night was good for him, and making love to Ray was his dream come true, but... Friday nights were no longer enough. Fraser wanted to be able to touch Ray at other times, in other places. He'd tried, once, when Ray had dragged him into the closet for a quick brainstorming session. He had put his arms around Ray from the back and hugged him close. Ray's posture had stiffened immediately and he'd whispered, "No, Benny," in a sad, kind of strangled whisper, and moved away. 

Fraser had been devastated by that, but he'd let go immediately, and they had sat down and discussed audio and visual clues to the case Fraser had gotten Ray involved in. That was all, and Fraser had never tried again. He'd told himself that Fridays would have to be enough, but that was such a lie now, that he felt it like a physical pain inside him. He *needed* Ray; he *loved* Ray; he *wanted* Ray. And even if it meant that the times they had shared each Friday stopped, he knew he had to try and talk to Ray about it. 

They were having a rather late lunch at a small diner near Fraser's place when Fraser brought up the subject. "Ray, we need to talk." Ray was immediately wary. Talking was fine; he'd tried to get Benny to 

open up for a long time and was glad when he did. But he didn't want to discuss *that* subject. He took a deep breath and tried to sound as casual as possible. "Okay, Benny, shoot." 

"It's about Friday nights, Ray." Fraser was looking right at him, and Ray couldn't make himself break eye contact. 

"What about Friday nights?" 

"They're not enough anymore," Fraser said quietly, noticing how Ray looked around in panic to see if anyone was within earshot. 

"They have to be." It was a simple statement, nothing more, but Fraser could hear the panic in his friend's voice. 

"Ray..." 

Ray got up so suddenly that he spilled what was left of his coffee. "I'm not gonna talk about this here." He paid the bill quickly, and was outside and in the Riv before Fraser had even collected his hat. 

But when Fraser went out, the Riv was still there, and Ray was waiting for him. As soon as he got in there was a squeal of tires and they were driving goodness knows where. 

"Ray, slow down!" Fraser said sharply. 

Ray listened, but his knuckles showed white the way he was gripping the steering wheel. 

"Where are we going, Ray?" 

"Where else, Benny? Your place." 

"We passed my street seven blocks ago," the Mountie pointed out. 

"Oh." Ray made an illegal U-turn, and in what seemed like hardly another minute, they were outside the apartment building. Ray stormed out of the car, up the stairs, and into Benny's apartment. 

Fraser walked into his apartment to find Ray sitting at the table looking both angry and terrified. 

He wasn't sure if he should join Ray at the table, or just speak to him from where he was... Finally he settled for making some coffee and speaking to Ray while he did so. "Ray..." he tried to start, but Ray interrupted him. 

"Nothing else is gonna happen, Benny. It's Friday nights or nothing." 

"Ray, will you at least hear me out?" Fraser realised he was almost pleading. 

"Okay, Benny, but I warn you, it's not gonna change anything." 

"Fair enough." Fraser brought the coffee over to the table and sat facing Ray. "I need you, Ray. I want you. Every time we're together I want you. I don't see why it just has to be Friday nights. We could do so much more together..." 

Ray cut him off. "No, Benny. I don't wanna talk about this." 

"Why? Just answer me that one, Ray. Why?" 

"Because I'm not like that, Benny. And neither are you." 

"But it happened." 

"It's just the release of sexual tension, that's all. Someday we'll each find someone, and we won't need to do it anymore." 

The love in Fraser's eyes was there for all the world to see as he stated, quite unequivocally, "I have found someone." Ray couldn't misunderstand him. 

"No, Benny." 

"I love you, Ray." 

Ray closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the love there, the desire. "No, Benny." 

"I know you love me, Ray." Fraser was trying everything. He *knew* Ray loved him; he felt it strongly every day, even when they weren't making love. 

All Ray seemed to be able to do was repeat, "No, Benny." 

"All right." Fraser stood up. "You said Friday nights or nothing. I'll take nothing. I must have all of you, Ray. If I can't, I'd rather not have you at all." 

"You're my best friend, Benny," Ray said. "Tell me that won't change." 

Fraser looked into his best friend's eyes. "It won't." 

And they tried very hard to make sure it didn't. Their Friday nights became movie nights, since Ray was too scared to go back to Benny's apartment again. They'd eat at a diner, then go to the movie theatre. They saw a heck of a lot of films in two months. 

But not having Benny was taking its toll on Ray. He thought about Benny all the time, remembering the feel of Benny's mouth on him, remembering what Benny felt like inside him, what it felt like to enter Benny... It had been like coming home. And now he couldn't even touch Benny, not even once a week. He'd *needed* Friday nights. 

Things came to a head one Friday when Ray was called to work just as they had parked outside the theatre. Lieutenant Welsh had asked for him to go down to the red light district, to question some, well, ladies of the night. 

It seemed that three of them had been sexually assaulted in the last week, and the women said it was the same man. Ray was ordered to check it out by questioning the other women in the neighbourhood. 

"You don't have to come, Benny. It isn't very pretty, what these women do to themselves. And what men do to them." 

"I'd like to help," Fraser stated simply, so Ray let him tag along. This case was unnerving Ray before he'd even gotten to the address, Fraser noted. "Ray? What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." Ray took his eyes off the road for just a second to look at Fraser. "Ah, Benny. We might catch the guy, but he won't go to jail." 

Fraser frowned, but didn't say anything. 

"He won't go to jail because of what those women are. If it even gets to court his defence lawyer will ask them if they decided to have him arrested because he didn't pay or something. Then they'll get witnesses to attest to what they do for a living, and the case'll get thrown out." 

"Does it always happen that way?" Fraser asked, a bit shocked. Surely it was anybody's right to do what they wanted for a living... even something others didn't approve of. All people deserved respect, and to be equal under the law. 

Ray sighed. "Yeah, ninety-nine percent of the time. The other one percent only happens when there's a witness to the crime." He sounded angry, and Fraser could empathise. 

They had arrived, and they went straight up to the first woman's apartment. 

As they sat in what passed for a living room, Fraser looked around carefully. It wasn't quite as bad as he'd expected... but what had he been expecting, exactly? There hadn't been much of this up in the Yukon. 

"He was creepy," the woman, who called herself 'Roxi', said. "I knew straight away that there was something wrong. That's why I screamed, and the others came to help. If I hadn't, I'd be your fourth hooker down at Cook County." 

"You're sure it was him?" 

"Of course it was him! I've seen him around. He makes us all uncomfortable, but he paid well. Then, this last while, he started acting weird. I refused to go with him two weeks ago. He scared me. So Bev went..." 

Fraser looked questioningly at Ray. Ray held up two fingers. The second victim. 

"And?" prompted Ray. 

"When they were putting her in the ambulance she said she didn't want to go through with it and asked him to leave, but he wouldn't." 

"Okay." Ray made a few notes. "What did he do that was creepy?" 

"He said things. Weird things. But it was mostly how he felt; the vibes he gave off. In this business you learn to read people real quick." 

"What else?" 

"He wanted to kiss me. We don't do that, you know. Well, some of us." 

Ray tried not to see the look in Fraser's eyes as he leaned forward and asked, "Ma'am, are you saying that's unusual?" 

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying." She absently plaited some strands of dyed blonde hair. "Kissing is for people who love each other. Otherwise it's just sex." She paused. "And that wasn't all he did. You want the details?" 

Fraser's heart seemed to be beating extra loudly, but he didn't say anything, just looked confused as more details were given. The hooker noticed it, and misunderstood. "Oh, come on, you didn't watch 'Pretty Woman'?" 

"I'm sorry?" 

"Julia Roberts? The hooker who married the rich guy?" Roxi laughed bitterly. "You learn in about a week just what a stupid movie that was. Richard Gere isn't going to show up in a Porsche or whatever and marry you and take you away from all this. No, you have to fend for yourself. And that's why we want you cops to do something. Because if you don't, we will." 

It was a clear threat, and Ray knew she meant it. When you couldn't rely on the law to do something, only vigilantism was left. "Don't you have a... er..." 

"Pimp, Detective? Some do. But so far he's managed to pick those who don't. I don't think it's a coincidence." She flicked a strand of hair back. 

Ray sighed, closing his notebook. "I need a name. Without a name or at least a description, I can't do anything." 

"Goddammit! I told you, we don't know his name. He told Bev it was John, but I don't think that'd be his real name, do you?" 

Ray had to agree it probably wasn't. "Okay, can you come down to the station and give us a description?" 

The woman complained about that, but finally agreed to get two others who knew the guy to come down as well. "We'll be there tomorrow. But I warn you, if he tries something tonight, he's dead." 

Ray gave her his card. "Call me. Try not to kill him." 

"Sure." It wasn't a comforting answer. 

Fraser was too quiet on the way to the apartment, and it made Ray worried. "Benny? You okay?" 

"Yes, Ray." 

Silence again. Ray broke it by babbling about the case. "If a few of them ID him, we could maybe get him on harassment. Then maybe the other charge'd stick." 

Fraser nodded, looking out the window. He was thinking about what the hooker had said. Kissing was for people who loved each other. Otherwise it was just sex. Ray hadn't wanted to kiss him. In fact, a few times Ray had deliberately turned away. The pain in Fraser's heart grew. He knew Ray was his best friend. But Ray obviously didn't love him that way. Ray had said it himself: it was just the release of sexual tension. 

Fraser steeled himself to accept that; to try to go back to what had been before. But even as he thanked Ray for the ride and exited the car, he knew he wouldn't be able to. You can't just turn love off that way. 

Ray drove home, wondering why Fraser had been so quiet. He could guess, 

though. The Mountie had looked as though someone had driven a stake through his heart when the woman had spoken about kissing. 

And he knew, too, that what he'd told Fraser before was a lie. Sexual tension, nothing. There were other ways to relieve that. No, he'd wanted *Benny*. He'd tried to deny it, because accepting it was frightening. But speaking to someone who saw sex in such frank terms had helped, even if she hadn't said anything directly to him. 

At home, Ray tried to concentrate on the case, to distract himself from thoughts of what *used* to happen every Friday, but he couldn't. All he could do was remember Benny kissing his body... 

'I need him.' It wasn't even a conscious thought, really, but before he noticed what he was doing, Ray was in the Riv again and driving over to Benny's place. 

He looked up at the window - it was dark. Ray knew that Benny had a habit of going to sleep early, but maybe he wasn't asleep yet... maybe he was still awake. 

Halfway up the stairs, Ray wondered what the heck he was going to say. That he'd made a mistake? That he loved Benny? *NO!* But even as he thought it, Ray realised that it was the truth. Benny had been right all along. He, Raymond Vecchio, was in love with Benton Fraser. 

Benny was indeed asleep, sprawled across the bed in a pose that Playgirl photographers would have killed for. 

"Oh, G-d." Ray leaned against the door after closing it softly, and looked at Benny, just looked at him. Benny was so beautiful, and so perfect, and he'd admitted and offered his love. Ray knew how difficult it was for Benny to do that; how much it must have cost him even to say those words he'd said. Ray imagined him saying them again now: "I love you, Ray." 

"I love you, too, Benny," Ray said, unfastening his pants and sliding one hand in, remembering when Benny had done this for him. He didn't know what he'd say if Benny woke and found him here, but he'd deal with that later. Right now he wanted that release, he wanted to think of Benny, he wanted to remember their lovemaking. 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the door, letting his pants and briefs fall to the floor. Part of him hoped that Benny wouldn't wake up, and the other part hoped he *would*. And then he didn't really have time to worry about it, as he touched himself, remembering Benny's touch... 

Fraser woke up to the odd feeling that there was someone in his apartment. Since he was lying on his back, he opened one eye without moving, and froze. Ray. Ray was in his apartment. Not just *in* it, he was... Fraser felt his face flush, and his body respond to the sight. 

Why was Ray here now? And why was Ray doing *this*, here, now? There could be only one conclusion, and Benton Fraser wasn't sure whether to be happy or angry. Had Ray come to his senses? It didn't matter; he had to find out what Ray wanted, once and for all. He wasn't just some convenient way for Ray to get release. No. If Ray wanted him, Ray had to want *all* of him. 

Very, very quietly, Benny got out of the bed. He smiled to himself as he saw that Ray really wasn't in a position to pay attention to any noise. He walked forward quietly, until he was right in front of Ray. Then he reached out... 

Another hand suddenly covered Ray's own, and Ray's eyes snapped open in shock. "Benny!" 

Benny didn't smile, he merely held Ray and looked into his eyes. "No more, Ray. I'm not one of those prostitutes. I don't know what you're trying to do, but I'd prefer it if you did it at your own house." 

Ray didn't answer, he merely leaned forward and kissed Fraser: one tiny, hesitant kiss. 

It was all that Fraser needed. Kissing was for someone you loved. He pulled away, looking into those expressive eyes that he loved. He realised that he was smiling, that goofy grin that he showed to maybe one person in a hundred, and squeezed his hand over Ray's, causing Ray's hand to squeeze down as well. Ray's indrawn breath told Fraser all he needed to know. He would have continued, but Ray took both their hands away and looked at Benny seriously. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's all right, Ray." 

"No, it's not, Benny. I..." He paused, trying to think of what to say. Finally, it came to him - the truth. "I do love you, Benny." 

Fraser's eyes just widened, as he leaned forward and kissed Ray this time - and not a hesitant, shy kiss either. This one was wide open and giving. 

Ray was so surprised that for a second he didn't respond, and Fraser started to pull away, until a hand behind his head stopped him. Ray clutched Benny to him and kissed Benny back with as much passion as he could, opening himself completely, drinking all of Benny's essence. 

They stood there like that for a while, kissing, exploring, holding each other in a way they hadn't before. Finally, their breathing turned to panting and they had to part. "G-d, Benny, I love you," Ray said, sliding 

one hand down Benny's bare chest, across his stomach, and then inside his boxers, to touch Benny intimately, knowing what he would find. "I want us to make love," he whispered. 

Fraser just nodded, his eyes intense and full of emotion. 

"In the bed." 

"Oh, yes." Fraser fastened his lips to Ray's again. 

Somehow they managed to shed their clothes and maneuver themselves onto the bed while still kissing. They sat down and faced each other, just enjoying this one activity that told of love. 

Eventually, the kiss wasn't enough, and Ray moved his hands over Fraser's body, feeling the muscles contract against his fingers, feeling Benny's hands touching him in the same way. 

They hadn't spoken the last time, so somehow it was necessary to talk now, and when they finally did part, Ray said, "What do you want, Benny?" He saw the desire flare in Fraser's eyes at the words. 

"Just you, Ray. Whatever you want, I want." It was the truth. If Ray was happy, Fraser knew he'd be happy too. 

"I want to give you pleasure, that's all. Tell me how." 

"Touch me, Ray. I want to see you, but I want to look in your eyes, too." 

"Then you have to touch me." 

Fraser kissed him again. "Yes." 

So they touched each other: slow, fast, lightly, heavily... every way possible, varying the rhythm... but always keeping their gaze locked together. 

It was a revelation to Ray how much he was enjoying this: and he watched in amazement as Benny approached the edge, his eyes changing colour from sky blue to grey, then going opaque as they widened in desire and his breath came faster and faster. "Ray," he whispered, leaning forward, wanting yet another kiss, needing to have that connection as well. 

Ray kissed him briefly, feeling Benny's hand on him falter. But it didn't matter; he just wanted to see the look in Benny's eyes when he came. 

And then he felt it in Benny, as Benny went over, not making a single sound other than a deep sigh, as he threw his head back and half-closed the eyes which were almost totally white now. 

Ray slowed his attention to Benny's penis as he felt Benny's breathing steady, and waited for Benny to look him in the eye again. 

Fraser slowly lifted his head, and looked into Ray's eyes, absurdly grateful for this simple gesture. "Thank you, Ray." 

Ray just grinned. "I love you, Benny." He could definitely get used to saying that. 

Fraser gave him a shy smile, and touched him with more intent. "Look at me, Ray." 

Ray looked at him, and then almost had to close his eyes again as the pleasure of Benny's touch overwhelmed his senses. But he made himself keep looking at Benny, unable to believe the love that he felt for this man, unable to believe that they were really here like this. The other... that seemed like a dream now. *This* was the reality. Ray felt the orgasm approach, and he welcomed it, wanting to look in Benny's eyes, to have that connection... In some weird way, if they had it, it would never be broken again... And there it was! 

"Benny!" Ray threw himself against Benny when he came, still looking into those beautiful eyes. "Oh, G-d, Benny." 

Together they slowly sank back onto the bed, and just lay there in each other's arms. There was no more need to speak, or to do anything. This was just how it was meant to be. 

Much later, Fraser lifted his head a little. "Stay with me, Ray." He wasn't sure if he meant just for the night, or their whole lives. Both, maybe. 

"I will," Ray promised. And *he* wasn't sure if he meant just for one night, or for their entire lives. Both. Yes. 

"I love you," Fraser whispered, and Ray moved up to kiss him, feeling Benny's warmth again. 

"I like Fridays," Ray whispered, a smile in his voice. 

"We have entire weeks," Fraser replied, his own amusement coming to the fore. 

Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser, and grinned. "Yeah." 

They fell asleep like that, smiling. 

THE END 

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